Throughout my entire life, I’ve had this pet peeve that I’ve never really brought up, but I’m going to now as it occurs in my conversations with approximately one third of the individuals that I know or meet.
It’s as though people want to win some kind of verbal competition for pain, and it’s really reeled in my complaining over the past year, as I’ve realized that very few people truly understand, and that it’s easier to rarely speak of my problems (as hard as that is, as I’m such an open individual).
I go to comment on something that is shattering my insides and the other person always points out either how they have it worse, or how other people in the world are suffering so much more. For some people it seems to get to the point of an argument instead of a moment of empathy. I do not speak to convince someone that I have a worse life; instead, I speak to try to reach some kind of common ground with the other person.
I’m starting to learn that the only people who can truly get it are the people who are in a similar boat as myself, and these people are hard to find as I suffer from physical, mental, and cognitive problems.
Alas, I look just fine on the outside, so it’s hard for people to see past that, and I understand and accept that they mean no real harm when they say such things. It’s just a tiring form of conversation that makes me feel worse about the problem at hand, and convinces me to go back to talking about pop culture and random ideas much more than my personal life.
It’s true – I don’t want to lose any more relationships.
(Image from WeHeartIt)
Do any of you with Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, ME/CFS. Asperger’s, etc., feel this way sometimes? Do your conversations with other people steer in this direction? I know it’s especially prevalent in regards to depression. I’d love to know how you handle these situations.