I’m going to start this post off with a picture:
The older I get, the more I realize how fundamentally alone we are in the world (and that’s not a bad thing!). We get tangled up with other people and their business, but when it comes right down to it… we are the people who truly care about our problems and we are the people who have the power to make changes to better ourselves. Our family and friends will be in and out along the way, but this journey is ours and ours alone.
It’s only within the last year or so that I’ve learned that I have no choice but to be the person who makes myself happy. I am slowly but surely finding what I’m passionate about and diving headfirst into learning about them. I am the one comforting myself when I’m sick and in pain and my body is breaking. I’m taking charge of being my own best friend. When I take responsibility for my time, my boredom dissipates. I always have a list of things that I can do to further myself, but it really depends on my ambition to get there. I now know that you can only put a couple of your eggs in other people’s baskets, as you need the majority for yourself if you want to be happy in this world. Show love and compassion to others, but first show it to yourself. You’ll have even more to give to others that way!
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to properly build up that wall of protection that I need from some people. Until I manage, I’m sure I’ll keep getting my heart broken by everyone and everything (like the news today – I desperately hope everyone in the NY and NJ area is okay after that mess of a Hurricane!). I may be a little more alone today than I was yesterday, but I’m getting stronger in my convictions.
Plus, I have my Mr. Kitters in bed with me, and kitty cats very rarely every let anyone down!