Psychologist visits always take a lot out of me. They bring up things that I didn’t even know were floating around in my mind, even though I went in with a super tabbed book, and pages of exercises that I had done to further my healing. It’s like you get a nice egg beater to the brain and then get to go home and try to sort it out!
Currently I happen to be in that struggling stage of taking 2 steps forward, only to take 1.5 steps back. It’s better than nothing, but certainly not the progress that I’d like to be making. Recovery is definitely something that is not to be taken lightly, and it is far more complicated and difficult than I EVER imagined. I mean soon this will be my third year with my psychologist (who is FANTASTIC!), and there are always new things to try to approach. On the plus side, my external stress is down, but on the negative side, all of the trauma is bubbling up from inside, which I could never deal with when my pain was way out of control. Hence, the constant nightmares!
She’s very against the idea of going for ketamine infusions at this point in time, as she’s positive that the hallucinations that come with it will be filled with all of the nightmare trauma that has been going occurring. Chances are it would end up being a negative physical/emotional trauma for me at this time. I don’t think I need any more of those before I can fix a few other things!
Yesterday she asked me to find a new obsession that I can use as a grounding experience. I’m not sure what I can use, but apparently when we go to open the inner trauma box, I can get worse for quite a time before I get better.
I woke up with a migraine creeping in my brain, which is great as I am to leave the house tonight to go on a Ghost Walk with people I haven’t met in person before (*NERVOUS*). I’ll be taking some painkillers and hoping that I stay cool, calm, and collected.
This is the best picture about recovery that I’ve ever seen!
Any advice for something to use as a grounding exercise, or even just for going through this process? I’d appreciate it!