A complete idol of mine is Ellen Degeneres.

She spreads happiness, dancing, and sheer joy to the world every day that her show airs.  Ellen directs attention to the best unknown talent, she makes friendships with her guests in a way that no other talk show host manages, and she is so very generous to those in need.  Her and Portia are an example of how gay marriage is just as beautiful as straight marriage (if not more, as they are a joyful couple!).

Ellen having a dance fest with Halle Berry

Looking super glam

Ellen and Portia on their wedding day!

My two favorite funny girls – Ellen and Sofia Vergara, being Covergirls!

I try to catch the show every day, although today’s will be interrupted as I have an appointment with an occupational therapist.

Does anyone else love catching Ellen’s show?  It’s one of the few things that makes me happy despite being ill.  A perk to being housebound I suppose!

xoxo,

Annie

Ever since I started the Demulen 30, my mood has been going wild.

The phone rings – I’m annoyed.

Things don’t go the way I want them to – I’m annoyed.

Someone talks to me – I’m annoyed.

I look at my body – I’m annoyed.

I need to eat – I’m annoyed.

Basically, as my man is known to say, I’m a walking mine field.  No one (including me) knows where the mines are, but when they hit them I explode (and there are a LOT of mines).  I don’t like being this way, as I prefer to be positive and pleasant, but big hormonal changes are the worst.

I’d change the drug, but it’s supposed to help me with the whole endometriosis not immediately coming back situation, so I’m trying to see if I can eventually adjust to it.  Sadly, the regulation period is frustrating to me and everyone who knows me.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I know many of my readers have Endometriosis or PCOS – have you had to manipulate your meds and hormone levels?  Have you had any success in keeping your brain half sane during the process??

xoxo,

Annie

In (mostly…) order:

JESSICA CHASTAIN in ALEXANDER MCQUEEN

GWYNETH PALTROW in TOM FORD

MICHELLE WILLIAMS in LOUIS VUITTON

ANGELINA JOLIE in ATELIER VERSACE

OCTAVIA SPENCER in TADASHI SHOJI

STACY KEIBLER in MARCHESA

MILLA JOVOVITCH in ELIE SAAB COUTURE

NATALIE PORTMAN in DIOR HAUTE COUTURE

ROONEY MARA in GIVENCHY HAUTE COUTURE

Aren’t they all stunning??  I wanted Emma Stone on there, but her dress just looked too similar to one Nicole Kidman wore a few years ago!  Yes, I am obsessed with style and design, aside from my interest in raising illness awareness.  I debated starting a new blog, but that’s too much work, so I’ll just have to share a little more of the inside of my brain here!

(For anyone who watched and/or is interested in such things…) Who were your favorites?  Please share!

xoxo,

Annie

• Shortness of breath (it’s making me rather uncomfortable…)
• Severe irritability as a side effect of my Demulen 30 (I think – maybe things just got monumentally more annoying in my life).
• Feeling like I’m carrying enough water weight for 10 people.  It’s not comfortable at all.  I have never been carrying so much weight.  It fluctuates, so I’m figuring it must be water :/.  Who knows?!
• I seem to be having some sleep apnea at night…
• I’m still overdoing it after all these years with this illness.  You’d think I’d learn.  There is such a fine line between under-doing and over-doing.
• That I’m not at the Academy Awards right now, wearing an extremely expensive gown, and reading my acceptance speech for my life-changing film performance (that happened in my head…)
• My eyes are burning from being over-tired.
• How long it is taking me to clean out my side room and make it into a semi-inspiring work space!
• I need to cut down my twitter list!  I can’t keep up!!
• My gabapentin doesn’t seem to be keeping the nerve pain in my spine under control…

This bird is me.

Remember this Annie…remember.

Spoons!!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What is happening with your illnesses?  Good, bad, flared, upside down, right side up?  Feel free to let out your gripes here, as you feel lighter when things are worded.  Huge hugs to all of you!!

xoxo,

Annie

• Wardrobe remixing!
• Planning my blog posts in advance.  It takes so much stress out and puts in the enjoyment again!
• Tea. Obviously.
• Color.  I love every color.  I’m so glad to see it making such a resurgence in fashion.
• Werther’s Original
• Kitty love
• Bed – it’s one of my great loves.
• Visiting Sarah and Bronwyn after not seeing them for too long!
• Sarah made me the best lunch ever – open-faced GF bread with spicy mayo, avocado, tomato, and cheddar cheese with grapes.
• The endless options of Netflix, even though I usually waste all my movie time looking at the movies I can potentially watch!
• Yoga pants haha
• Catching up on my favorite tv shows!
• Rainbow sorbet

(A picture by The Bloggess who is the funniest person in the entire world!)

(I could go for a big, fluffy bubble bath right now!)

What are the things that have happened this week to make you grateful??  I love this practice as it really lightens my mood about my situation in life.  Things aren’t so bad if you take the time to enjoy the small things.

xoxo,

Annie

I started two new meds: Demulen 30 and Flexeril.

The latter makes me extremely groggy and the former makes me rather irritable.  I need the Demulen 30 to work to keep my Endometriosis in check, and the Flexeril helps a lot with the muscle pain.

However, I am noticing that I am gaining either a ton of weight, or a ton of water weight.  When I stood on the scale today it was the highest it has ever been in my life.  I am not pleased.  My pants do not fit anymore.  As someone who adores clothes and seeks out the best I can get for my money, this makes me rather cranky.

I still exercise (to the extent of my ability with my illnesses), and I eat fairly well and not too much.  I don’t know what the  answer is and it is bothering me, as I don’t have the money to go buy an entire new wardrobe.

People keep giving me weird diets to try, but thanks to my gastroparesis, I can only eat the blandest of foods.

Argh.

(Yes, listen to the picture Annie!)

(Mmm…I want to live off of fruit!)

Is anyone else dealing with this problem?  Any advice to give me?  I would gladly like some from those of you experiencing weight gain from medication!

xoxo,

Annie

I love this woman!  She is someone that I think would make an awesome friend.  Every time I see her I am just filled with happiness (along with the woman I’m going to post about next week [if I remember}.  Her new movie is called Big Miracle and I am looking forward to seeing it.  I know protecting animals is a big of her life, and it’s nice to see that translated into film.

 

Daisies are like sunshine to the ground.
Drew Barrymore

I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows.
Drew Barrymore

I really want to understand the mind so I can be more comfortable with the way people are. Being comfortable with people is incredibly important.
Drew Barrymore

If you’re going to be alive and on this planet, you have to, like, suck the marrow out of every day and get the most out of it.
Drew Barrymore

Life is very interesting… in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths.
Drew Barrymore

There’s something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk.
Drew Barrymore

There’s a hunger and a fervor that I have, but there’s no person I’m going to push to the side to get where I’m going. I want to create my own road.
Drew Barrymore

When I lay my head on the pillow at night I can say I was a decent person today. That’s when I feel beautiful.
Drew Barrymore

When you’ve been locked up in a mental institution, people are going to ask questions. It was OK, because I didn’t have to act perfect all the time.
Drew Barrymore

You’ve just got to do the best that you can.
Drew Barrymore

Anyone who knows me and the story of my life would see that these quotes are like a look right into my mind.  She and I apparently have incredibly similar worldviews.  Drew is a person I look up to for inspiration.

As a most beautiful Covergirl

A fully body laugh!

Bright colors and a big smile!

Looking pretty with a film reel

(Images from WeHeartIt)

Who aligns most with your view on the world??  I’m not saying Drew Barrymore is the one align with most, but she’s definitely right up there!  Do you have any favorite movies of hers?  Tell, tell!

 xoxo,

Annie

I LOVE tea. I love coffee too, don’t get me wrong…but it’s different than my relationship with tea. It’s almost a religious ritual for me.  I heat the water, collect some loose tea, and let it have a leisurely soak until it becomes infused with flavor.  Life is too short for mediocre tea.  Remember that.

When I drink tea, I contemplate the universe.  This liquid manages to make me realize that I am in the now, and that  no other moment truly exists.  I feel the same way about high quality chocolate as well, but I’m trying to drink more tea in the hopes of not over-sugaring my body.  With each sip more creativity pulses through my veins, and my eyes come into focus.  Sadly, I suffer from chronic illnesses, which really interferes with my typical enjoyment (imagine how good tea would make me feel if I was healthy!).  All the tasks that previously seemed overwhelming, are now able to be somewhat tackled.  It’s right up there in the few good things that are helpful for one’s mental health.

Due to my overwhelming love, I will deliver a short, ridiculous poem:

In the morning

late at night

you’re always there

to make things right.

 

Bagged or loose

black or green

to sip brings clarity

and lets life be seen

 

Steaming hot

Steeping with glee

you warm my hands

and set me free

 

Oh darling tea

I can clearly see

that you know me

and how I breathe

~ by moi haha

I really do.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

How do you feel about this magical beverage?  What are your favorite companies and flavors?  I think my favorite is one called Organic Detox from David’sTea, but I still have many brands and flavors to try!

xoxo,

Annie

• Being woken up when I am sleeping and then going to the couch (which I refuse to do anymore unless I’m super awake!)
• Not being able to make a living from art and writing.  It’s really the only thing I ever want to do.
• The fact that some of my pants are getting WAY too tight (thanks meds and shrinking dryers).
• I’ve been feeling very edgy lately (probably because of a med change, but who knows).
• So many dreams in my head, so few ways of managing to get them to come true :/
• I’m debating starting another blog, but it seems like a lot of work to keep up with that many things on the Internet!
• I need to surround myself with people who inspire my creativity so that I can try to produce something that someone would buy or want to give me a job!
• Jon wasting money on protein (though he claims it’s an investment).
• Having to completely re-learn several things that come naturally to many people, due to complications of my illness.
• I want to write a bunch of blog posts tonight but the pillows are making me nod off…
• Waking up with my mouth entirely sealed shut out of medication dryness

Jon and I should do photo shoots like this. HOT!

I’m always sick, so I always want a grilled cheese haha

Good ol’ funny paranoia courtesy of XKCD

What do you need to improve this week?  How are your new year’s resolutions coming along?  Have you dropped all of them?  I have managed to keep up drinking lots of tea, so I’m pleased!  Let me know how things are working out for you – I love hearing from my readers <3.

xoxo,

Annie

• Ripping out pages from my magazines for collages.  I don’t have any more room in my magazine chest, so some of them have to go!  I keep so many articles.  I’m obsessed with magazines.
• Jon’s work colleague made a cider and gave us a few bottles! Super good.
• All of the ‘Sugar’ websites: Savvy, Pet, Fashion, Beauty, etc…
• Sleeping in!
• When Internet orders come to the mailbox and not Purolator! (Currently the other way around…)
• Getting doctor appointments out of the way!
• Home design blogs.  Really just any blogs in general.  I find them so inspiring…(probably why I write one).
• Coming up with outfit ideas.
• Spending my time just jumping from one Wikipedia article to the next.
• Tumblr/Pinterest (I still like Tumblr more, but the category option on Pinterest is superior – I can’t decide which is better).
• I’m going to watch Voices From The Shadows soon with my mother!  For all of you who want to know more about the real lives of people with ME/CFS – you NEED to pay the $2.99 and watch this film - http://mubi.com/films/voices-from-the-shadows
• Making imaginary baskets full of Sephora goodies and then deleting them because I can’t afford it.

It’s cats making text faces. What’s not to like!?!

A beautiful sentiment that really should resonate with everyone, especially the chronically ill!

Camera Obscura!  A great band you should check out!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

So what are you grateful for this week?  What has made it different from the other weeks?  Share some of your joy with me!

xoxo,

Annie