I am positive that there are not enough hours in the day.

Between the amount of sleep I require (or the groggy, useless state I land in whenever I don’t get it…), wasting time on the Internet, and having to cook and clean…I get nothing done of substance.  I don’t even get those things done on a regular basis, and I don’t even manage to work!  What a disaster.  [Mind you, I am being hard on myself, as I do have a  debilitating illness, but as it fluctuates, I never know just how hard I can push!!]  Fibromyalgia has developed a great mental battle alongside the physical.  Truly a mean illness.

My sister was telling me how she is going scuba diving, to Marble Mountain for skiing, and to Cuba for a vacation, all while studying full-time in medical school!  I seriously do not know where she gets the energy.  Lots of people are managing to grab life by the horns and live to the fullest, and I feel like I’m falling behind.

I know I need to be working harder at my writing, especially outside of this blog, so that I can have a portfolio to present to individuals in the hopes of procuring a writing job at some point.  I’m not sure why, but writing for myself always seems to come last on my list of things to do.

I need to switch up my priorities! #1 Thing: take care of me.

xoxo,

Annie

P.S. My surgery may be this Friday.  Apparently it was booked and they post office sent my papers back. If I can get the blood work done in time it will happen.  If not I’ll have to bump it a little bit.  I did not expect it this soon at all.  EEEK.

• Hormonal migraines – they hit me like clockwork every month and put me down in bed for about 15 hours.  Such brutal things.
• I haven’t managed to watch all the Academy Award nominated films yet!  I’m working on them though, I managed to watch The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Descendants, and Midnight in Paris this weekend!
• I lost my eye cream.  This makes me sad as I’m developing wrinkles and I believe in the thickest moisturizers in the world.
• My kitty has a cold!  The poor baby needs extra cuddles.
• The SAG Awards didn’t knock my socks off, but Viola Davis’s speech sure did!
• The fact that I just can’t magically become a stylist.
• The battle with weight gain.
• Clearly, upcoming surgery.
• Never being able to get the top Bejeweled Blitz score!
• When I wake up with my spine curved at the most uncomfortable angle ever.  No wonder I have a sore back.
• Waiting for a check that never seems like it is going to be delivered in order to cover some medical costs.
• Marms bit my leg really hard

What has managed to get under your skin this week?

xoxo,

Annie

• Googling sketches on the Internet and then doing my version of a drawing of them!
• Being a bit better at what I eat…
• Reading Bossypants by Tina Fey (a really enjoyable book by a really interesting woman).
• A moment of quiet in my endlessly chatty brain
• Organizing this kind of messy house!
• Bejeweled Blitz and Family Feud with Facebook – I could play those games all day long
• Magazines in the mailbox
• New deeply discounted scents from the Bodyshop  - and while I can’t smell them, I’ve been told they smell good!
• My bed, especially with my cat curled on top of me!
• Catching my beloved Kimberly online!
• Fashion, fashion, fashion <3 http://fragileannie.polyvore.com/

(Images from WeHeartIt – also – I really want to take a pair of shoes and paint them!)

What is making your week cheerier!?  Share it with me, I’m having a tough day and could definitely use some pick-me-ups!

xoxo,

Annie

Due to a bout’ of nausea and a crashed brain, this blog post is now all about this picture.

We’re all ‘one tough cookie,’ my friends.  We manage to live through problems like this and pick up the battle again the next day.

xoxo,

Annie

Sometimes I get a feeling that everything is falling into place, and that I’m in the right place at the right time. It’s rare for sure, but when I get that feeling, everything comes to a standstill.

Many would say I’m unlucky and that I’ve been dealt a pretty terrible hand, but yet, I have people who love me and a roof over my head.  I’m with the man I love, I’m doing work that I love (even though I never get paid a dime for any of it…), and I’d be hard pressed to find a better family.

I really think that one has to go through serious hardship to truly appreciate the little things that make life worthwhile.  Certainly, pain has a way of turning everything upside down into a mass of horror, but in those brief moments of calm, I feel as though I’ve been given a gift.

I have managed to learn these lessons at a young age, and with that, I think I can grow into a person who can relay empathy and support to all of those in my life. Even better, I live in a world of technology, and I find much of my support comes from my computer family.  Without being able to connect to others in a similar situation, I think I would be back in my old ways of self-destructive behavior and self-hatred.  Instead, I’ve come to a place of self-love.

Don’t get me wrong, I slip back every now and then, but I’ve had to learn survival in some of the toughest circumstances. It’s a gift to know so many survivors.  No matter how long I spend on this Earth, whether short or long, my goal is to be able to give back the love that has been shared with me.  It may not be a job, but I think it is noble all the same.

I live for truth, beauty, freedom, and love (much like in Moulin Rouge haha).  Everything I share comes straight from the heart. My ultimate goal is to have more of these moments and with more clarity.  Maybe someday I will truly come to peace with myself and with these illnesses.  A goal to work towards for sure.

xoxo,

Annie

So I was at the doctor yesterday.

I’ve been having severe pelvic pain problems for about 2 years now, and the first three doctors I saw about the issue didn’t really seem to put much care into it.

Now, my latest doctor wants to do laparoscopic surgery to look for signs of endometriosis, which makes sense as I have all of the symptoms.

I don’t so much fear the surgery as I do the thought of finding nothing.  Not that endometriosis can be fixed, but having no knowledge but all the pain is just as bad.  My mom and I are both doing research to make sure it’s the right option, and my biggest hope is that no adverse problems happen as a result of the surgery.

He estimates the procedure to take place within 2-4 weeks, but if it is too close to my trip to Florida, I will have to bump it forward.  I don’t want to be taking my first vacation in years and years while recovering from surgery – that would be negative 200% fun.

I know a lot of you that read this blog have endometriosis and have had this surgery – any tips, advice, knowledge, etc…?

xoxo,

Annie

• Back pain
• Being cold
• Sleeping in bed alone (I’m so used to being able to cuddle up to Jon!)
• Not being able to enjoy my massage…
• PMS
• Getting resistant to my pills (and the fact that so many of my friends are having the same problem!)
• Getting into arguments with people over the most stupid things
• Doctor visits
• The cyst on my forehead that refuses to go down…
• I have a burning desire to win a Polyvore contest…
• Eating too much pepper and having it burn your lips (yes, this is happening RIGHT now haha)
• My inability to digest a mass multitude of foods that I would like to be able to eat again…like the hard boiled eggs struggling in my throat…
• Being on too much social media and feeling like I can’t keep up with any of it!
• Psoriasis has spread to my FACE.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I still have a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in so that’s really all that matters.

What is making you grumpy this week my fellow friends?  Write it out and see if anything can be done about it!

xoxo,

Annie

• Archer – funniest tv show ever!
• Mr. Marms
• My 3 year anniversary with Jonathan
• A couples massage booked for tonight (although I was too tense for them to do any real work…)
• The purchase of Tina Fey’s Bossypants
• Black Revlon polish with purple glitter!
• I organized my craft materials into boxes
• Twitter friends who understand my stress and my dislike of being touched!
• Making endless Polyvore sets as I’m obsessed with clothing
• Curling up with blankets and tea – seriously I don’t need summer to come back.
• Getting stickers on GetGlue.  Simple idea, but fascinatingly addictive.
• Good new music like Lana Del Ray and Oh Land.
• My bodymedia armband!
• A pair of Dr. Martens that I seriously am debating adding to my closet…

What are you feeling grateful for this week?  Pick out those little highs from the lows and share them with me!  I would love to know more about you and be cheered up!

xoxo,

Annie

Exactly how I feel about cats:

My brain is tired, so I thought I’d share this with you all.

xoxo,

Annie

Okay first off – this whole censorship of the Internet thing does not fly with me.  I wish I had more power so I could shut it down!  Grr…no one messes with my favorite place to live.

The Italian cruise disaster makes me sick to my stomach.

Annie is not a happy camper.

Plus, I had to revisit some bad old memories for my occupational therapy appointment today and it put me in a not so stellar mood.

So instead of just using this as a place to rant about my problems with the world, I will talk about the two shows that I’m using to drag myself out of this state of mind!

Portlandia:

This show is the funniest thing in the history of recent shows.  It’s a sketch-comedy about Portland, Oregon, that mercilessly mocks the new hipster movement.

Archer:

The other funniest show in the history of recent shows (and it’s animated!).  It focuses on a secret agent named Archer and his coworkers in the company Isis.  It has the quickest wit, some jaw-dropping moments, and crazy-hilarious situations.  I can’t stop watching it and neither can Jon!

xoxo,

Annie