Here I am in St. John, finally back in the hotel room after a miserable hell of a morning.

It has been a torrential downpour with a ton of wind. We had to park about a mile away from the hospital and walk (fun for a sick person, even without the rain). The place was chaos x 10, and we had to wait for hours until the appointment. My doc was a smarmy know-it-all who didn’t take me too seriously and made me cry.

I proceeded to get re-soaked and we ventured down to Wendy’s. I opened the door and the wind took it and flung the handle into my side and I was pushed back against the building, leaving two bruises. By then, my body had gone too long without pills and food and I just cried. I have been warming up in the hotel ever since thank goodness, but I have to go back in a couple of hours.

I have the feeling it is going to be a less than stellar evening. Hopefully I can sleep or it will be my 5th day without .

Wish me luck my loves!

Hope you are well.

Xoxo,

Annie

Time to travel for a sleep study.

I’m not excited, as I’m massively sleep deprived and everything hurts.

I don’t even know what to do with myself.  It doesn’t help that I’m in the land of PMS.  It does not put a sick girl in her best shape!  Grr…

Please may you all be having a better day than me…love you all!

xoxo,

Annie

• Well first off, spilling a full cup of steaming hot coffee all over my couch and my skin.  A) It’s a HUGE mess and B) OW!
• Doing the above after getting about 3 hours of sleep last night.
• Having to go on a long drive to NB just to get a bunch of wires strapped to me and attempt to sleep.
• Packing an away bag.
• Doing all the laundry necessary to fix this coffee mishap (plus what’s in the dryer!).
• Horrible knee and hip pain that has been getting me down all week…
• I want this sucker and I can’t afford it: http://www.beyondtherack.com/event/sku/21104/QUA157734?filter[size]=&sortBy=&category= (you won’t be able to see without a Beyond The Rack account I think…)
• The fact that my body gives me zero pleasure and only pain.  I seriously can not stand it anymore.
• Noticing that Beyond The Rack didn’t ship me the perfume I bought with the rest of the items :/

Everyone, please check out this video if you like cute boys and/or kitties!

http://cuteoverload.com/2011/10/23/well-be-doing-that-men-of-cute-overload-calendar-anytime-now/

I fell head over heels in love with this!  Makes me want to get a kitten even though my mom says if Jon and I break up, I’m not allowed to take two kitties to her place.  So alas, I must just love Marms like crazy as per usual.

Anyone know of any cute Youtube videos that one could send to a sick girl and give her a laugh?  It would be greatly appreciated!!

xoxo,

Annie

• Lady Gaga’s Thanksgiving TV special
• Soaking up information from the Internet
• Beauty tutorial videos
• Mint chocolate chip ice cream, which is threatening to ruin my ability to fit into my clothes in my closet!
• My mom, for always helping me out
• Christmas cards going off in the mail!
• Comedians – lately I’ve been obsessed with finding some laughs
• HelloGiggles website
• My Christmas tree is up!
• All my presents for people are here except for two
• Marms hasn’t yet attacked the Christmas tree
• Jon buying my mom’s old car – yay for having something decent to drive around in!

I wish my kitty would let me paint his toenails LOL

I stole this off of my sis’s Facebook (hopefully she’s ok with it!), but I couldn’t help it because the way she naps with friends is SO CUTE!

I have been plagued by the flu for the last few days and have been MISERABLE.  It’s so nice to wake up today and feel like a sick, but still partially functioning human again!

Now I’m just tired and living in the world of the Internet, a.k.a the source of 90% of my life’s entertainment.  There is so much information to take in that I don’t think I could ever run out of things to read.  That fact makes me both anxious that I’ll never be up on everything and excited that I don’t have to constantly be buying books in order to find amazing things to read!

It’s American Thanksgiving for many of my lovely friends, and I’m jealous, even though I had a turkey dinner a month ago.  Turkey dinner is my favorite thing in the entire world.  I think that’s why I get so into the holidays – they are about everything I stand for in life (family, friends, decorating, presents, massive amounts of love, singing, and all of those good things!).  I’m a little obsessive.

Now it’s time to watch Gaga’s Thanksgiving special!  I have no idea where she’ll take this – but I do think she is one of the most talented people ever.

I hope you are all having amazing family time!

xoxo,

Annie

Here is a smattering of my pop-culture loves of the week:

Perfume: The A-Z Guide:

I am only halfway through this book, but I absolutely adore it.  I was extremely interested in perfume when I was younger and ever since I lost my sense of smell, my interest has only grown.  It makes me sad to not be able to participate in the scents, so I love to read descriptions of them!  I buy my own perfume simply based on reviews, so it’s a good thing these people are experts!  If you have any interest in the subject, you should definitely pick it up.  I managed to score it for $2 at Indigo.

O magazine:

Every now and then, I’ll cave at the cash register and pick up a copy of O Magazine.  It always surprises me in terms of content, and I love reading the articles.  However, does Oprah really need to be featured in 7 different dresses on the pull-out cover?!  Seems extremely self-absorbed, which is a turn off.  Plus, it had different art content from fashion magazines, so it makes for good collage clippings.

Feist – Metals

I have loved every album that Feist has ever come out with, but this one is in a league of its own.  I feel like I fall into a completely different plane of existence when I listen to this CD.  It’s deeper and darker, and completely magical.  I extremely recommend this purchase to any music lover!!

What have you fallen in love with pop-culture wise?

xoxo,

Annie

Sometimes I think that I just have too many thoughts (it used to be worse, as the memory loss with the illness has really dampened everything…).  My mind races so fast, causing anxiety, and the inability to stay focused on one topic for too long.

I have wished before that I could just turn it all off – maybe I’d be able to sleep easier, and maybe I wouldn’t have to worry so much about wanting to accomplish all of my goals.  Perhaps I wouldn’t have burned out and gotten these illnesses.  I work every day to tell myself that I did nothing wrong, and none of this is my fault.  For the most part, I believe it.  But every now and then, a voice creeps up in my head and I debate whether or not my neurotic, perfectionist traits led me to this fate.

But then, I read this quote today:

“You’re only given a little spark of madness, you mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams

This brain is mine, and mine alone.  No one else in the world thinks exactly like I do.  I shouldn’t fault myself for what is potentially a gift in a lot of ways.  I’m incredibly honest and thoughtful, I work hard, and I love ferociously.  Very few people are that devoted to their morals.  There has to be something good there!

Plus, getting sick has allowed me to slow down.  I wouldn’t call anything about being sick a good thing per se, but it has allowed me to take the time to learn extensively about myself.

Now if only I could get back all of the things being sick has stolen from me, I’d be all good!

Does anyone else feel the same way?

xoxo,

Annie

• Epic cryfests – although I did come to a realization of what was hurting me so much.  It just came out in the midst of tears and words and I didn’t even know it was a problem!
• I miss my sister.
• Not being able to get my sewing machine to work!  I got my mom to take a look at it, and she couldn’t even get it to work, so who knows!
• Feeling unproductive, because I keep getting so little sleep at night!  Hopefully, my sleep study in a couple of weeks can figure something out.
• Not knowing what a phone call will bring to me this week!
• Needing to crawl into the shower and make myself all clean and pretty smelling!
• My kitty is ignoring me!  I want to smother him with snuggles!
• I’m apparently in love with using exclamation marks haha
• Pain, pain go away, come again another day…

WANT! [can't afford ]