• Being so immensely tired after a string of not sleeping…
• Allergies
• Cold, rainy, windy days like this weekend!  Blech.
• Having a whole bunch of tabs meticulously arranged on Chrome, only to have my computer die and lose them all
• Not being able to order from Joe Fresh online – I think that would be a good thing
• I haven’t been spending enough time listening to music and I am totally a believer that music can help heal the soul
• Not being able to go out for Halloween (but I got to see my bestie instead which is even more awesome!)
• Having a bad taste in my mouth as of late – it’s driving me CRAZY!

Using a writing prompt just for randomness:

10 Reasons I Do Drink Coffee, Despite The Fact That It May Not Be 100% Great For Fibromyalgia:

1. I would never get out of bed otherwise – this is especially important in times of important events and doctors appointments which I would likely miss if I didn’t drink the good stuff.
2. It tastes soooooo good!  Especially if you add specialty creamers.  I remember it smelling good, but I now don’t get to enjoy that factor.
3. None of my rambling blog posts would ever get made without it!  Coffee = working brain for short period of time.
4. It makes me more social during the morning hours and less likely to bite everyone’s head off with morning attitude adjustment.
5. It’s warm, and in the winter cups of coffee and tea are so comforting!
6. Household chores would never get done at all (not that they are doing great at the current moment anyway…).
7. There are some reports out there that say 1-4 cups a day can be a good thing for the body!
8. It’s a legal drug.  I can get giddy on coffee and no one is going to care.
9. It helps digest my food (especially in the terms of dessert coffee!).
10. Last but not least, my life is mediocre at best with this terrible illness, and I think I at least deserve to indulge in one of the few enjoyable things I have left.

I’m a firm believer that with Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS, one will likely never have a solid schedule.

I’m up, I’m down, I’m in-between, I’m sick, I’m medicated, and nothing works out quite as well as planned.

I was in a rough mood yesterday and Jon suggested that I get a job.  As much as that would be a nice idea, and money would be a bonus – I NEVER know when I’m going to feel okay and when I’m going to feel like shit.  Trust me, the latter happens more than the former.  As a result, I want to figure out a way to contribute without making a decision as set-in-stone as another job (I have a small paying one online for The Fight Like A Girl Club – the best website ever!).

Instead I’m trying to find ways to contribute to my home, to my parents, to my illness community, and hopefully at some point, the community I live in.

I’m still struggling to make all of this happen, but it’s an exciting task for me to undertake.

As we all know, in illness, things take a little longer.  We have to learn patience to stay sane!

And now, a trippy kitty!

(Image from WeHeartIt)

How do you try to give back, if you can’t work due to illness??  What steps do you take to make your life and those of the people around you better?

xoxo,

Annie

I have been so busy dealing with the ups and downs of life that I haven’t gotten the chance to watch/read/listen to as much as I normally would.  All the same, here are some neat things I’ve found:

30 Dollar Date Night:

http://blog.30dollardatenight.com/

This is a blog about ways you can spend time with your significant other without spending more than 30 dollars.  As someone who is getting into being in a bit of a couch slump (stupid illness!), it’s nice to find new ways to spend time with the man .  Some options would even work for spending time with a best friend!

The Big Bang Theory:

This is constantly on in re-runs and it pleases me.  All the episodes still make me laugh and I haven’t been a religious watcher so there are still so many I haven’t seen!  I love me some geeky boys!

Why Do I Have A Blog:

http://whydoihaveablog.net/

Caragh Poh writes this incredibly neurotic, but super-entertaining blog – she also writes for Hello Giggles, which is one of my other faves.  I’ve fallen into this blog and feel the need to read the whole thing.

What have you been checking out lately?

I’d love to know!

xoxo,

Annie

My thoughts of the day:

1. My tweets about Amy’s death have randomly disappeared. Argh. But apparently twitter was coded by monkeys, so I’m going to relax and just take a step back and bloggity blog blog.
2. No sleep = heart palpitations and weakness. Lame.
3. I have to pay bills and I keep putting it off because I don’t like being poor.
4. I’m drinking a Diet Pepsi for breakfast and feel guilt about it (my inner critic is a harsh mistress!).
5. I bought bone covered nylons and yet I don’t think I’m going anywhere on Halloween. I’ll have to break them out with a dress and Christmas.  Bones = festive, right?  Haha.
6. A part of me is going to miss Regis when he is off of the television.  He is such a card.
7. I don’t recommend having loose wrist muscles and joints. Ouch.
8. There is a spot on my head that feels brutally assaulted with a baseball bat, even though it’s just a weird nerve reaction.
9. I need to re-learn to cook.  Ever since I lost my smell/some taste, I just haven’t cared.  But my diet needs some help.
10. I keep an OBSCENE amount of tabs open at one time.  I can’t even keep track of them myself.
11. This video rocks every inch of my socks off http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs&feature=player_embedded#! (even though I’m not actually wearing socks, I’m in pjs as I plan on running off for a nap after lunch!).
12. I wish I could find the website where you can dress up models in current fashions…I had so many good outfits and I so can’t remember.  Silly #ME/CFS ruining my brain!
13. I need to start saving for New York City.  This would be soooo much easier if I could work full-time!
14. WeHeartIt should be visited so that I can get some pics for the blog – however, it is too easy to get lost in the pictures of cute little kitties!!!!  Squeal!  I’m a crazy cat lady.
15. I’m starting to get so tired that I’m not even tired anymore.  Sweet.
16. Today I’m going to start reading Kurt Vonnegut’s Hocus Pocus!
17. Nate Berkus reads Vogue magazine.  For some reason that makes me really happy.
18. My face is breaking out and I’m not excited about it.
19. I napped away my afternoon and therefore, that’s all my Tuesday turned out to be.

• This rash needs to go away ASAP!
• Arguments
• My current lack of optimism :/
• My constant stuffy nose
• Sadness over the loss of a #spoonie friend – Amy Rice @Cute1Amy/@Beautiful1Amy – to Lupus at 23 – R.I.P. Amy

My body has been covered in a rash for two days now!

I have no idea what has caused the rash, as I haven’t started anything new in terms of lotion, detergent, etc…

I’m hoping it’s nothing serious, chances are it is just autoimmune like every other rash I have ever had in my entire life (and there has been a LOT of them…)

This is a picture from yesterday (I have since gotten at least double the spots!):

Je ne sais pas.

xoxo,

Annie

• Penguins with sweaters
• Going through old magazines and keeping the pages that inspire me
• My purrrrfect little kitty cat (yes, I just did that – and no, I have no shame lol)
• Falling asleep to the Tony Bennett duets album
• The RSLBC forum page – I may have had to pay to access it, but these girls have brilliant input
• Showering and COATING myself in body lotion – my very favorite part of fall and winter
• My new bling iPad case from Michael Kors
• Some great sale pieces from Old Navy
• Extra sleeping when I can!
• My new Vogue Covers book – I love looking at how clothing has both changed and stayed the same!
• It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Living with these illnesses is so hard.

My heart goes out to each and every one of you who is suffering from serious Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, and autoimmune disorders.  I went to the doctor yesterday, only to hear that there is nothing I can do anymore other than add more pain pills to the pile.  Of course, I’m still working with some non-medicinal strategies (yoga, EFT, meditation, etc…), but I’m not getting much relief.

Yesterday, I completely broke down.  Tears streamed from my eyes and my body hyperventilated.  It’s just not fair, although I know life isn’t fair.  The only comforting thought in my mind is from Toni Bernhard’s book How To Be Sick -”why me? turns into why not me? – at least I’m lucky enough to have a family who wants to support me through this giant mess.  I feel so bad for stressing out my mother (who had to witness my complete meltdown and who funds most of my life), in addition to my father, sister, and partner.

They just have to watch me deteriorate.  That can’t be easy on anyone.  It sure isn’t easy being the one stuck in the body.

What do you do to ease the pain of those close to you?  Do you keep it all in?  Do you let it all out when people aren’t around?

xoxo,

Annie