Monthly Archives: January 2010

Jan31

Picture Post

Posted on by
Picture Post
I am currently indulging in strawberries and cheese. It’s getting close to actual filling food again!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been feeling even more left out of life lately.
Spent my day half like this:
I love me some Sylvia Plath.
and I miss swinging. It was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.
Images from WeHeartIt.
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I’m trying to gain some energy to hopefully have something interesting to contribute to the world next week :) .
xoxo,
Annie
Jan31

Surprise! It’s Your Mental Health Community!

Posted on by
Surprise! It’s Your Mental Health Community!

Lately, I’ve been having some anxiety in regards to leaving the house.

I mean, this is to be expected…especially after being prone to puking and hating being stuck at places that are not my home while quite ill.
I was convinced to go out to a benefit tonight. All I heard about it was that it was an all woman thing put on by someone to raise money after a suicide, and that there was free wine. I should have put two and two together. Alas, I’m a bit on the slow side and the temptation for free wine was too strong.
So I get there and it is massive. There are hundreds of women milling about, some of which are social workers and nurses that I have met in the hospital before. It is a fundraiser for the Canadian Mental Health Association.
The speaker was a very inspiring girl named Laura and she was a schizophrenic. As she documented her loneliness, inability to trust her own brain, and experiences with medication and madness…I couldn’t help but have flashbacks of my own. And they hurt. A LOT.
It doesn’t help with the recent giving up of treatment by one of my doctors in favor of the belief of a somatization disorder. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I have so many diagnoses under my belt I have no idea what is the truth anymore. More referrals in the future, just like the last 11 years.
All I know is that I’m in pain and feel like staying in more often.
Also, my eyesight is incredibly blurry tonight.
xoxo,
Annie
Jan30

Top 10 Things To Do When Hormonal

Posted on by
Top 10 Things To Do When Hormonal
Ow.
It sucks to be a female and have some sort of pain-receptor connection be slightly off in your brain. As it hurts. A lot. Hormonal migraines and stomach and leg aches galore. I think I may not move ever again.
Top 10 Things To Do When Hormonal

  1. Read things like Gives Me Hope and cry/smile about the fact that there are still a few good people left in this sometimes horrifying seeming world.
  2. Online shop for shoes. This is a given.
  3. Avoid other people as much as possible so as to not be snappy at them.
  4. Watch Gilmore Girls and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Over and over and over.
  5. Look at Cute Overload and wish I had 18 pets.
  6. Search the Internet for funny and/or pretty pictures. Like this one.
That poor freaking bird. I can hear the de-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-na music in the background of my head. This might be because I’m crazy. It’s possible.
7. Consume useless celebrity gossip. I don’t know why, but when you are sick a copy of US Weekly is like gold.
8. Read Ruminations. Laugh because I think the same things on a daily basis.
9. Drink tea. Secretly wish it was coffee. Drink more tea.
10. Look at this. And laugh. And agree. http://imgur.com/gallery/AR3H7.
Anyone have any other good ideas for that rather grumpy time of the month?
xoxo,
Annie
Jan29

Love Me Fridays

Posted on by
Love Me Fridays
  • NUMERO UNO IS….I can breathe-ish like a normal person again!!! I felt like this day would never come. I still subsist on liquids. Which is annoying. But one battle at a time!
  • The Thirteenth Tale. I haven’t finished it in it’s entirety yet, but my God what a book.
  • Good iPod Touch Applications rock my world. Especially when it comes to lists, fashion, shopping, or organizing.
  • Editing my bookmarks. I’m following like 800 blogs right now. It’s too many blogs. I’m starting to trim them down in the hopes I can pay the most attention to those that deserve it. I might as well being as I’m sickly and never get off the couch.
  • Entertaining the thought of buying a Tassimo brewer. It’s expensive. I have no income. But I desperately want to have a cup of not-failed coffee within my own home once in a blue moon.
  • Jon is home! He’s sick too with the flu I gave him. But he’s home. So I get to hobble around and pretend to take care of him. Lots of snuggles I say.
  • The fact that I plan to get around to painting my fingernails today. First step to starting to look human again!
  • More people commenting on the blog! I love Internet friends
  • http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck –> This made me laugh and laugh.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday!
xoxo,
Annie
Jan28

Book Review and a Step in the Right Direction

Posted on by
Book Review and a Step in the Right Direction
Again, with all the time to sit around I have lots of time to review books.
This time I thought I’d go for something a little more along the lines of comedy. I was sadly disappointed. This is the most disjointed set of ramblings I have ever read in my entire life. There will be people who will be like “BUT THAT IS ELLEN’S FORM OF COMEDY AND YOU OBVIOUSLY JUST DON’T GET IT!!!!!”, but I can’t say the publication did a whole lot for me.
I LOVE Ellen’s talk show. I think it’s fantastic. If I had cable it would be on all the time. So it’s not a matter of finding her not funny. It’s just this book isn’t funny without her ability to do stand up with the material. Blah.
I give it a 3 out of 10.
Also, on a better note…I’m going to start working on preparing recipes from The Cancer-Fighting Kitchen by Rebecca Katz with Mat Edelson!
It’s a beautiful book with lots of healthy, yummy, easy-to-digest food. Now to just get up the energy. I am happy for the ability to be able to take my health into my own hands again soon. :)

xoxo,
Annie

Jan27

Has a Case of the Sads

Posted on by
Has a Case of the Sads

It’s a bizarre thing to have another job let go due to a health situation.

I had been off for too many days. I could come back if I thought the illness was going to clean up quickly and tell them it would not happen on a regular basis. I would also have to fill out their papers and have doctor’s notes done up by the end of the next day. I couldn’t promise that and I have a hard time lying when it still could be weeks until I get a half-recovery. On top of that, I’m so broken that it hurts to move half an inch, let alone go somewhere to fill in health papers. I should work on my perpetual guilt complex.
I’m probably too blah to fully deal with it yet, but I’m sure the emotions will be a-coming. I got a referral for a new doctor but it will be 3 full months before I see him. It’s hard to have no answers for that long.
Who am I kidding??? This is my 11th year of this bullshit.
I’m starting to come off as bitter. I’m going to brainstorm later possible jobs I might be able to manage (like writing! but no one ever pays me for that! woooo).
Until then I’m going to go suck on more Gatorade. I develop such a hatred for Gatorade when it’s all I get to have in the run of a month.
Lots of love (I will be positive again soon!),
Annie
Jan26

When You Wish Upon A Star

Posted on by
When You Wish Upon A Star

I’m pretty sure I am less spry than the average 90 year old right now, with this virus munching my muscles.

Someday I will be healthy again. More like healthy-ish. Sadly, I lost yet another job. I am failure city.
But still. I miss shopping. And doing anything but laying in bed.
Found a sweet blog though!
I don’t know why but I pretty much live for self-help blogs. Fashion blogs too, but that is just because I like beautiful things. On the plus side, my hands still work so I’m going to do more cross-stitching and typing.
I love the blogosphere!!! :)