Monthly Archives: October 2009

Oct21

Need Some Internet Hugs

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Need Some Internet Hugs
So recently I’ve been feeling a little misunderstood.
As a result, I went to the Internet. It contains everything that everyone could ever want, including good ol’ fashioned (semi) human interaction and support.
This is the first time I’ve joined a forum group on the Internet…as opposed to silly chat rooms, and I’ve been incredibly impressed. The people who take part in it are well spoken, have fantastic ideas, and are warm and funny. Most of all, they understand the struggles that people face when they have daily health issues.
Exactly the kind of people you wish were your friends.
I have a link on the side of the website, and I recommend anyone who stumbles upon it (and meets the criteria) to join.
Yay for international love!

P.S. Doing a home renovation for the next little bit – carpets ripped up, new wood flooring going down…it’s going to look beautiful, but my god is the place ever a mess.
Oct18

Easy Pick Me Ups!

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Easy Pick Me Ups!
As a continually sickly girl, I’m always looking for great ways to make myself feel like less of a schlub.
Even when I only want to sit around in my pajamas and watch television, which let’s be honest, is OFTEN…I like to try and do things that will make me feel better about myself and my general existence.
Some may call me somewhat shallow for saying this, but the littlest steps at maintaining mainstream beauty often pick me up out of a funk.
So my easiest cures for those necessary pampering times when being super lazy are:
1. CLAY FACE MASKS
and
2. NAILPOLISH
My choices for this evening are The Body Shop’s Tea Tree Oil Face Mask (feels so good!) and CoverGirl nailpolish in Candy Corn (a wonderfully festive October color!).



Happy pick me ups!

xoxo,
Annie

Oct16

Time To Shape Up!

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Time To Shape Up!


I need to start an exercise routine.

ASAP.
Before I no longer fit into any of my clothes. Mind you, the winter is probably the absolute worst time to try and get into this habit, as all I ever seem to want to do is curl up on the couch with hot chocolate. However, my sedentary lifestyle is not treating me so well. I’m developing those wonderful ‘love handles’ of which people speak.
My boyfriend claims to enjoy them. He is either lying through his teeth or slightly insane. Not that I don’t love my curves (as I very much do), but shopping becomes a serious bummer with clingy fabrics.
  • I’m thinking that I should pace around/do squats when I’m stuck at work all day. Maybe walk around town some, even though it’s starting to be snow weather and I so love my car for those dreary days.
  • No more ice cream! It’s by far my most serious downfall. I’m called the ice-cream monster by those who know me. Must substitute dark chocolate for my endless cravings.
  • I need to tackle more tasks – the busier I am, the less likely I’ll be to just sit around.
Sadly, I eat fairly healthy as it is. I just want to get the body I have into better shape. I rant about these things and then find a million ways not to do anything about them.
Oh well, we can’t all be perfect. Advice, advice, advise me!
Now I must go perfect my amazon.ca order, as I love my books more than anything.
xoxo,
Annie
Oct13

Learning What Matters…

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Learning What Matters…


It’s almost the big day!

Doctor’s appointment out of province! Woooo the joys of being sick in a reasonably small environment. I travel to the mainland tomorrow to see a Rheumatologist. Hopefully, he’ll have something to contribute to this joyful mess of a life I lead.
On the plus side…being sick has allowed me to work on getting my priorities straight at a younger age. I was at a gathering not too long ago, and was absolutely shocked at how some people seemed to have no idea who they actually are or what they like. It was all about gaining money and stability no matter what the cost to their personal life.
Maybe I’m weird but I don’t want to be like that. I would rather be with someone I love, work towards finding something to do that I love (despite the fact that their appears to be little money in it), and just have to live modestly.
I’ve been reading more and more vintage blogs these days (update coming soon with links to my favorites!). I am loving being surrounded in luxe fabrics, bright colors, and pretty things. I’m going to make it my new goal in life. You only live once, and when you are sick you learn to spoil yourself in order to make things seem more tolerable. There is this misconception that spoiling involves great sums of money, when it really doesn’t.
Makes me want to take a trip to Value Village.
Anyways, wish me luck with my trip!
Maybe it will go well as it sure doesn’t look like I’m going to be employed any time soon….
Oct11

Attack of the Killer Allergies

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Attack of the Killer Allergies

I’m pretty depressed today.

I’m not going to lie. My allergies are absolutely impossible to live with. If I don’t take allergy meds about every 6 hours I can’t breathe, I sneeze ALL the time, my eyes are watery and runny, and my mouth itches. I always had allergies before, but this flare has been constant for about a 6 month period of time. Doesn’t matter what place I’m at, how clean it is, whether or not there are pets…it’s always the same reaction.
In addition, I’m at home for Thanksgiving dinner and I can’t sleep at currently 4 a.m. Without those much needed sleeping hours, I’m
a) a zombie
b) cranky as all miserable hell
c) more likely to have illness effects (sore stomach, headache, widespread pain…)
d) TOO NAUSEOUS TO KEEP DOWN FOOD!!
The last one is what kills me. I LOVE turkey dinner. I will probably still stuff my face even if I’m too tired to chew, or if it all ends up being vomited in less than joyful bliss.
In addition, my job is killer boring…add in the amount of health problems and I damn near quit on the spot during an 8 hour shift by myself yesterday.
I would love to be able to get away from it all with sleeping. It is really the best escape possible, and one of the least attainable. Oh well, only about 4 more hours until someone else rises to join me in taking part of the world.
Sadness all around.
xoxo,
Annie
Oct11

Book Review Sunday

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Book Review Sunday


I am a self-proclaimed bookworm, reading everything and anything I can get my hands on.

Every now and then I read a book that explodes my neurons, gives me chills, and literally takes my breath away.

Case in point: My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

For some reason, I had convinced myself to put off reading this book, despite knowing it was a huge phenomenon and bookstore top seller (and now even a movie with Cameron Diaz and Abigail Breslin!). I had convinced myself that it was chick lit – typically schlocky and uninspired.

As a person with chronic illnesses, I have a lot of empathy for Kate’s character – diagnosed with a rare kind of leukemia shortly after birth. For a long time, there were no titles on my illness, and subsequently I always felt as though death were right around the corner. When you are sick you have a tendency to get absorbed in your illness and feel simply like a giant burden to others. But this novel really introduced me to the other side of the story…the family members that are subsequently affected by this constant reminder of death.

The plights of Sara (the mother who becomes absolutely absorbed in the potential loss of one child, neglecting the others), Brian (the father and mediator, never knowing which path is morally right), Jesse (the brother who turns to rebellion in order to let out his feelings of frustration), and most importantly Anna (the daughter designed as a genetic match of replacement parts for her older sister – who has to fight for the rights to maintain her own body), are heartbreaking and honestly described.

Many of us are aware that in a situation of terminal illness, it is no-win deal. This book transcends that, and points out the major mistakes that individuals tend to make in order to cope with the situation of a loved one dying. It is easy to understand Kate’s desire to let go and let her family live in peace, her mother’s desire to hold on as tightly as possible, and Anna’s desire to give parts of her body to her sister but also her fear for her own life and safety.

I was absolutely taken aback by the ending. I should have seen it coming, but never did. My heart was shattered and it will probably be a few days until I recover from the novel.

If you need a good cry, or simply a real thinker of a book – I highly recommend.

Oct8

To Morning or Not To Morning?

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To Morning or Not To Morning?


I have a love-hate relationship with early mornings. On one hand, they are beautiful, quiet, and peaceful. I have a tendency to be significantly more productive in the early morning hours. On the other hand, I LIKE MY SLEEP. I miss it. I don’t function nearly as well without my 8 hours, and daily life these days almost refuses to give that on a regular basis.
As someone with chronic illness, I obviously have serious issues with energy. Sometimes it is so bad I’ll collapse right in the middle of a grocery store. Sadly, it isn’t the easiest situation to predict.
The D-Ribose I’ve started taking appears to work (I’d recommend it to anyone on a treatment regimen for Fibromyalgia for sure). I can’t guarantee that it’s not a placebo (as it is still a type of sugar…), but it appears to pick me up. I drink the occasional cups of coffee before 3 p.m. *I know it’s frowned upon but sometimes you need it*. I also try to eat a small meal about every 3 hours to keep my levels up.
But just for some more information, I’ll post a link to a site I recently stumbled upon with a TON of fantastic tips for simplifying life, called ZenHabits. This is a link to improve energy in a variety of ways and I will definitely be putting them to the test.
Tell me what you think!
xoxo,
Annie
Oct7

Grrrrrr…

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Grrrrrr…


I need to work on controlling my anger.

Badly.
There is something about being sick all the time that really encourages snapping. It’s not an excuse for sure, but it definitely leans you in the direction of anger as opposed to general sadness. There are few things more frustrating than feeling like you constantly have the flu, but having no idea why, or if it could ever stop. Add in the fact that you hold just as many responsibilities as the average healthy person and it becomes a full out mess.
This is an open apology to anyone I’ve ever hurt because of these short, irrational anger outbursts…but I’m feeling bad for one in particular this morning. My significant other definitely gets the brunt of these attacks, when much of the time he is the one least deserving. In days prior, it was my immediate family. Usually they are over the stupidest things (in this morning’s case, an empty gas tank…), and they are just a result of my inability to channel excess emotions into anything remotely useless.
Anyways, what I’m trying to get to is that this is something I desperately want to work on. It’s one thing for me to feel that way, and another for me to take it out on people who don’t deserve it. I can’t imagine it makes them feel any better when they go about their day.
Ideas…(anyone is welcome to chip in…)
1. Breathe before saying anything.
2. Take up yoga again.
3. Use the good old “I” statements instead of “You” statements.
4. Turn on music.
5. Write it down first (although these things involve segregating myself and I’m not sure that is to my benefit either…).
Who knows.
I’ll figure something out.
Until then, it’s pill taking time…
xoxo,
Annie
Oct6

Guilty Pleasures

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Guilty Pleasures

I am madly in love with this person’s kitchen/organizational skills. Lately I’ve been on a HUGE home decor kick, and inspiration can be found all over the Internet. Not that that’s stopped me from buying piles of magazines. They are easily number one on my list of guilty pleasures.
That makes me want to write down some guilty pleasures.
Lets see…
2) STARBUCKS! Ever since they opened up a Starbucks on University Ave., I’ve tried to be one of their most loyal customers. I’m aware that it is over-priced and pretentious but I just can’t turn down a pumpkin spice latte or an espresso chocolate truffle. While in that environment, I have managed to convince myself that I am no longer stuck on this little island. It’s a nice feeling. I’ll also give a little shout-out to my love of San Pellegrino, which is prominently displayed in the image above.
3) Red lipstick. No matter how sick or tired I am, I always feel a little bit more confident, strong, and sexy if I swipe on some red lipstick. Sometimes I’ll put it on even if I don’t have any desire to leave the house, purely for the boost it gives me when walking by a mirror.
4) Mad Men and it’s wonderful 60s fashion. I’m a latecomer to this series, but I’ve fallen madly in love. I wish I could wear those kinds of outfits everyday, and I watch it to scour out the beautiful little details even more than to take in the storyline.
5) Perfume. Now this will be a weird one, as for two years now…I have no sense of smell. This is actually one of my least favorite results of being ill, as it takes away so much beauty and lessens my taste of food substantially. By spraying on perfume, (always a kind I’ve put research into to know that it smells reasonably good), I feel as though I’m taking part in something of which I’ve been robbed.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Today is sadly a confined to the bed day. I’ve managed to get zero sleep in about 35 hours and counting and it’s doing horrible things to my body (and my mind, as I couldn’t even figure out I had to put my foot on the brake before I could get the car out of park…). I have a job interview this afternoon for a car dealership (wooo! I know.) I’m just hoping that a) if I did get it I would be healthy enough to do it, and b) that it pays more than minimum wage.
I got a shout out by email from an old friend on the opposite side of the world today, saying that she and her friend (another chronic illness sufferer!) liked this blog. It was really appreciated, as I often wonder if I am the only one that reads it. It’s a great compliment coming from her, as I’ve never read anything of hers that wasn’t captivating, witty, and well-composed. It made my day :) .
Now I will continue to lay and shop on Etsy.
Much love,
Annie