An oil painting photo of me on a water bank in Seattle. Photoshop is a nifty program, I must say.
I’m dreaming of a getaway. Everything around here is so overwhelming these days. I manage to only surround myself in people that spew negativity left and right. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been known to have moments of it myself but they always pass rather quickly. I do everything I can to stay positive and work towards helping myself get better and sometimes I feel as though the people around me are just trying to drag me back down. I can’t move now that my boyfriend has a wonderful job that he loves, so daydreams are the current escape.
I’m not making enough money, not having enough time to be creative, and not having a social life that gets any stress out. Most certainly time for a life remodel I would say. I feel bad that my tolerance can be so low, but it’s difficult to change who I am.
Anyways, off to work I run. I’m making an appearance at a bar later for a heavy metal show [very unlike me, but I keep my promises
]. You never know, it could be fun!
I’m having a bit of concert regret. All my friends went to see Marilyn Manson last night and Hawksley Workman tonight and I’ve been a money stickler and held out on both. The rave reviews that are coming my way are certainly making me wish I had changed my mind though. There is something to be said about the magic of live music, although it also can have the polarizing effect of being horribly disappointing.
Instead, I’m sitting at home debating watching a movie. Waiting eagerly for my first paycheck to arrive, as it has been a LONG LONG time since I’ve had one in my hands, even if it is underwhelming at best. The joys of making minimum wage when paying off years worth of student debt.
Jon is sassing me with his psuedo-intelligent comments and I’m mocking him. I love our relationship. It’s peachy. Someday we’ll be able to afford a house (if I ever start to make actual money-money). Then I’m going to get a Boxer and have a vegetable garden. Yes. Plans being made.
I see Fallout 3 so much on our TV that I’m starting to feel as though I live in the Capital Wastelands. It almost makes me want to go blow up super mutants and pick through their corpses for valuables.
One of these days I’ll get my head on straight and start spending less of my time on the Internet. At least I don’t have cable or I’d never get anything done. I’m going to start creating binders of inspiration for various topics: recipes, interior decorating, clothing styles, and crafts. I’m looking forward to it. As for now, I think I’ll go have a cup of tea and try to be thankful for all the things I do have instead of all the things I don’t like –> an awesome boyfriend, an apartment (even if it has orange carpets), and ‘a hot body’ according to the man on the couch haha.
A) I suck at this whole daily updating business…
B) I’ve spent the last hour and a half wasting my life on youtube listening to everything from rap to italian pop.
C) I have a lot of ideas and no idea how to get them in gear.
Life has been fairly standard…the illness flare has calmed down slightly so as long as I take my meds everyday nothing too catastrophic takes place. I’ve learned as a result of my current profession that the population of the world is HUGELY judgmental and repressed regarding sex…much to my detriment.
Everything is in moderate chaos in my head so I’m crossing my fingers that I straighten it all out.
Fall has officially set in and I’m feeling a desperate need for change, gathering inspiration from the lovely weather here in Prince Edward Island.
I’m feeling like it’s time to start working towards trying to become self-employed. I’m trying to up my crafting skills, my writing skills, and general decorating skills in the hopes that one of these days I will have it together enough to be able to make a living and manage my illness without having serious overlapping dilemmas.
Speaking of work, I have a job interview today! I feel slightly under-dressed (always a panicky scenario for interviews), but I don’t own a suit so my typical over-accessorized look will have to do. I have a portfolio of my experience/education/writing so hopefully they will be impressed. I secretly wish it was a portfolio with my artistic endeavors, but that will have to wait for a bit.
I’m in absolute agony today – I had a bad sleep with nightmares last night and I’m paying the price for it with a completely inflamed back and stomachaches galore. I’m going to go try to take it easy and see if I can’t get myself in better shape before this interview.
So I got rather bored the other day and delved back into my somewhat crafty nature. I made an ‘Island-themed’ collage that now is in need of a decent frame. It was a fun way to waste an hour of my time, that’s for sure. Makes me inspired to continue looking for craft projects and supplies.
Also, I’ve found so many daily blogs over the last two days that I LOVE. My mind is expanding rapidly as to things I would try if only I could work up the ambition/have the money. The current weather is sucking all of the life out of me.
I have an interview on Monday for a human resources company, and on Tuesday I start my job part-time at an ‘adult-only’ shop, much to the despair of my parents. I can’t turn down possible money at such dire financial times, that’s for sure. Oh well, it will be an experience
My handsome/wonderful boyfriend took me out to dinner tonight and it was lovely (minus the fact that my Paella was not in the top 5 versions I’ve had).
Must go play Scene It with friends!
Looking forward to compiling some links to these favorite blogs in the next little bit!
I’m debating whether or not to further ink my body.
Tattoos are something I have always been enticed by, although I do think that the ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ holds true. I’ve seen many truly beautiful pieces and many hideously tacky ones. I’ve lately been obsessed with the look of pin-up girls, including the one and only Suicide Girls. For my next tattoo, if I so decide to go down that route, I want something loudly feminine.
I currently have two tattoos – one on my stomach and one on the back of my neck.
This is the one on my neck:
Although not in blue, I just tweaked the contrast on the picture out of whack for fun.
The other one is a small dragonfly that is slowly fading after it’s 5 years of being on my body.
Now to muse around the Internet for inspiration.
six things i’m looking forward to:
+ getting a job (which hopefully doesn’t suck!)
+ going shopping for Christmas presents
+ learning more about crafting
+ the turning colors of the leaves (it’s starting!)
+ working on becoming more optimistic
+ decorating the apartment
six things i did today:
+ drove my lovely boyfriend to work
+ ate a sandwich and drank some green tea
+ cut out some magazine clippings for collages
+ listed to frou frou
+ went to a job interview for afternoon delight
+ read adorable blogs
six things i wish i could do:
+ be independent enough to work entirely from writing and crafting
+ move into a nice house with a yard and lots of room to decorate
+ shop! (with more money than I have now)
+ make some more friends
+ get a pet and not be allergic to it
+ get a handle on this joyous illness that I have
six places i’d like to travel:
+ san francisco
I wish I had an unlimited amount of money.
Like everyone else in the world.
In my case, purely for the ability to buy all the adorable things off of Etsy.com
Tis an addiction that outdoes Ebay.
Still on the never-ending job hunt…
Starting to feel like no one wants meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
And…I’m done whining.