Sometimes I get a feeling that everything is falling into place, and that I’m in the right place at the right time. It’s rare for sure, but when I get that feeling, everything comes to a standstill.
Many would say I’m unlucky and that I’ve been dealt a pretty terrible hand, but yet, I have people who love me and a roof over my head. I’m with the man I love, I’m doing work that I love (even though I never get paid a dime for any of it…), and I’d be hard pressed to find a better family.
I really think that one has to go through serious hardship to truly appreciate the little things that make life worthwhile. Certainly, pain has a way of turning everything upside down into a mass of horror, but in those brief moments of calm, I feel as though I’ve been given a gift.
I have managed to learn these lessons at a young age, and with that, I think I can grow into a person who can relay empathy and support to all of those in my life. Even better, I live in a world of technology, and I find much of my support comes from my computer family. Without being able to connect to others in a similar situation, I think I would be back in my old ways of self-destructive behavior and self-hatred. Instead, I’ve come to a place of self-love.
Don’t get me wrong, I slip back every now and then, but I’ve had to learn survival in some of the toughest circumstances. It’s a gift to know so many survivors. No matter how long I spend on this Earth, whether short or long, my goal is to be able to give back the love that has been shared with me. It may not be a job, but I think it is noble all the same.
I live for truth, beauty, freedom, and love (much like in Moulin Rouge haha). Everything I share comes straight from the heart. My ultimate goal is to have more of these moments and with more clarity. Maybe someday I will truly come to peace with myself and with these illnesses. A goal to work towards for sure.
xoxo,
Annie
